Rejection

Last week my work was rejected for the Oil Painters of America’s annual show.

I would like to say that the rejection doesn’t really matter much. Admittedly, it’s nice to be accepted by your peers, and the occasional pat on the back doesn’t hurt. When your success is built on your artistic expressions, it may help to have a leather hide. Yet, barriers that don’t let anything in, can’t build the sensitivity to let much out either. So I try to keep my hide akin to a human version of the control top pantyhose my mother used to wear; seemingly indestructible, flexible, breathable, able to offer support in places that grow weary, and just a tad shiny. Though, strong as they may be, if you’re dancing in the woods, you’re bound catch a snag.

But I can’t stay out of the forest, so I planned a course to navigate through it. It may be loose, but it’s a plan nonetheless. Work really hard, submit to big juried shows, gain entry, eventually place – and the rest will be history of course… I’ve managed to make a living finger painting; surely I can parlay that into this fine art gig. Some of what I see living under this title is less than ‘refined’, therefore I’ve determined that you don’t have to be Michelangelo to flourish. You have to be dedicated to the work and willing to market yourself like a branded cereal (or pay someone to do it for you).

It’s not all business. Without art, I don’t function well as a pleasant human being. But I can’t just paint for the sake of expression (yet). I need to paint well, and find approval, and be financially rewarded for my efforts. Does that suck all of the purity from my work?? I hope not – cause like it or not, a girls gotta eat, and paint is not free until you’re successful enough to afford it. There are some limits to my prostitution. I don’t paint cats.

I want to continue to grow and progress in my abilities as a painter and I’m working hard to do that. But the study, the trial, the error, and the constant desire to master add a certain tension to my work that doesn’t exist when I’m just spilling it out on the canvas. Ideally, I’ll become so well versed with my medium and technique that the tension will dissolve and I’ll be left with a better flow, and perhaps…better work. Or… perhaps the tension is not from the paint at all. Perhaps it just shows up there…?

When I paint solely for the sake of expression, it feels divine, but it’s not always pretty and I doubt that you would find it in the portfolio of ‘respectable’ shows.

I know there is a balance. I hope I find it soon – or I will need a different plan, and a new set of panty hose.

Comments

7 Responses to Rejection

I know you’ve already heard the platitudes from Artists who have “MADE” it, “that show rejected my work, and the next show gave me first place” yeah, thanks, that makes me feel MUCH better… not…

I’ve been rejected twice now and it doesn’t make me want to try again. So what I do is back up and regroup. Try some new things (I’m working on composition) focus on some stuff I don’t normally focus on (right now, Pansies of all things) and hopefully I will eventually gain the courage to go back out on that limb again. Good luck.

Posted by mimi torchia boothby watercolors · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

Helen Keller said, “LOOK THE WORLD STRAIGHT IN THE EYE,” which is exactly what you do, Kelly, and is exactly why you will eventually get to where you are working so hard to go. Only you will know when you’ve gotten there–I only know you are solidly into the journey.

Very glad you wrote again–I’ve missed reading your blog. It keeps me feeling inspired and connected.

Posted by Diane Pool · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

Thanks ladies. I’ll go back out on the limb. I tend to live on the limb. But it was a triple wammie week. Rejected by the OPA, The Portrait Society of America, and Anderson Ranch – all in less than 5 days. I don’t have anything else out there to be rejected by at the moment!! I’ll be in the studio all week playing with paint – not trying to create anything…good or acceptable – just playing with paint. It should be lovely, actually.

Posted by kelly · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

Mimi – You come, too! I finally took a few minutes to look at your page and I am delighted–wish I had as much stimulating thought put into my blog. I’d LOVE to have you visit, also!

Posted by Diane Pool · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

Kelly, I just checked back to see if you’d updated and was startled to see that my reply to your last response hadn’t been published. You and Mimi must wonder what sort of nonsense I was talking about! 🙂

Well, the jist of it was a simple (heartfelt) reminder that you’d been “accepted for your visit to the Philippines”

I think I may have said something clever about life out on a limb…wish I could remember it now.

Posted by Diane Pool · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

the Phillipines??! so close? (not!) 🙂

Posted by mimi torchia boothby watercolors · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

Diane – I loved your post! It is a great reminder to think of the things I have been ‘accepted’ to, and that they perhaps hold far more value. I WILL make it there sooner or later.

Posted by kelly · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

Success

Name (required)

Email Address (required)

Website/Blog Address

Comments (required)

Remember Your Info
Check this box if you want email updates when people comment on this post

To help us prevent spam, Please enter the code in the box:

(Click the submit button below after you’ve entered the code)

Shiny Faces and a Sold-Out Show

Last week was one for my history books. A combination of many changes on the home front, a future as uncertain as swarming bees, and a commitment to something that scared the snot out of me put me in an unfamiliar spin. I hope not to return to it anytime soon – to the spin that is.

I was not afraid when I committed to the project. I conjured it up, sought it out, and asked for it. I was confident, ready, and wanting to take on the hardest target I could find. When my target (and friend) accepted, and the time drew near, my heart began to beat with insecurities that I am thankful to call an odd occurrence. Good words from far away friends, the reality of ‘no turning back,’ and a desire to keep moving forward forced my hand, my heart, and my brush. The first one was hard, the rest, a pleasure I hope to repeat with new shiny faces, in new lovely places, for many years to come.

Below is the work produced over four days at The Art Spirit Gallery in Ceour D’Alene, Idaho. Friends, some old, some new, lined up to sit for me. The pieces averaged 1.5 hours, and together, we produced my first ‘sold-out’ gallery show.

I came home exhausted and satisfied. I will do it again, and again. Next time, without the spin.

Comments

11 Responses to Shiny Faces and a Sold-Out Show

how many days of painting does this represent?
Congratulations, what a beautiful array of portraits!

Posted by mimi torchia boothby watercolors · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

four – long, wonderful days.

Posted by kelly · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

Wow Kel, these are amazing! You have found your next great thing! Paint on sista!

Posted by Lisa Young · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

Wonderful. You have captured the heart and spirit of these people. They are alive! Good work, indeed. I know you will keep it up because your heart is in it, I can tell.

Did you send work off to the Portrait Painters off America? Please post what you sent, if you did.
Cheers!
Carole

Posted by Carole · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

These were wonderful to look at! Knowing many of these people, I am amazed not only at the likeness, but of the general spirit that is conveyed. The candor / general attitude got painted as well!

Posted by Reed Sullivan · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

Truly wonderful, and even though I don’t know ANY of these people, I agree that you are capturing essences. You are an inspiration, Kelly, a gift to those who are privileged to get to know you.

Posted by Diane Pool · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

Oh Diane, you are sweet to me. I really look forward to sitting on your boat in the Philippines and sharing stories, face to face for the first time. You inspire me, and I’m certain you inspire all the kids you work so hard to create a school for. Maybe August – is it too hot there in August – or September???

Posted by kelly · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

nice to be part of a mutual admiration society… the Philippines are warm all year round, but I expect that your summer weather would have acclimated you to our August/September heat–except we may be more HUMID. I don’t know that for sure, though. The big difference is that from July to October is our rainy season, when Typhoons come, and though we are located just low enough to the equator that typhoons pass to the North of us, we do get the rainy edges. This year being El Nenia, is already wetter than usual so it may not work well for you this year. But we’ll see what develops, okay? Congratulations on the great success of your show!

Posted by Diane Pool · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

strong work Kelly! these are great. welcome home!

Posted by hans · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

Hi Kelly: Loved seeing more of your work, and, of course sitting for my portrait was an amazing exerpience as well! Thank you and congrats on your accomplishments at the competition.

Posted by Trish Bardman · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

I am very proud to be on this wall.

Posted by Elizabeth S, Brinton · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 132 months ago

Success

Name (required)

Email Address (required)

Website/Blog Address

Comments (required)

Remember Your Info
Check this box if you want email updates when people comment on this post

To help us prevent spam, Please enter the code in the box:

(Click the submit button below after you’ve entered the code)

Happy I didn’t run

I’m so happy I stuck that one out. I’m past the anxiousness that barely crippled me – and I’m having a great time painting my friends at The Art Spirit Gallery in Ceour D’Alene. More later -back to the paint now.

Comments

Success

Name (required)

Email Address (required)

Website/Blog Address

Comments (required)

Remember Your Info
Check this box if you want email updates when people comment on this post

To help us prevent spam, Please enter the code in the box:

(Click the submit button below after you’ve entered the code)

Raw

A friend referred to my writing as “raw”. She meant gritty and exposed, not undercooked and difficult to digest. But lately, all the adjectives apply…more to life than words.

“You just need to lock yourself in your studio for a few weeks and figure it out,” Tom said. On some levels, that’s an attractive option. The full-on absorption, the frenzy of intensity, the point where you bring yourself to the brink, and you either push through it or drink yourself into oblivion… I remember those days. I was 20-something. I often pushed through it, but sometimes I welcomed the oblivion.

I don’t feel like solitude is my answer anymore, and the idea of a drunken stupor no longer serves me. I am not interested in isolation; I am interested in consumption, …, and digestion. I want the education I missed, a long time ago. But it has not come easily, and I’m about to put myself out there – perhaps a little ‘raw’.

It’s unsettling. And scary. And at the moment I want to call the whole thing off. I was building my confidence – telling myself that no one paints like me, my brush stroke is my signature – I’m not going for formal portraits in a 30-minute sitting – it’s more of a fun and interesting experience – and art is part of it. As I’m writing my ‘rawness’ this email popped into my box. I painted her son last week… “he looks a little like Sloth from the Goonies to us, can you redo it?” Wow,… ‘Sloth, from the goonies’… I don’t even know who the hell that is, but it can’t be good.

How do I get from ‘raw’ to ‘well done? …or even medium-well would satisfy me at the moment. … Perhaps I should focus on crocheting tissue box cozies and call it a day.

I’m headed to the assisted living home, where lots of people will sit for me, and there is no pressure to do anything. I’ll go enjoy myself and hopefully leave with a more bountiful view of the life I have left to live.

Comments

2 Responses to Raw

I feel your pain, you are not alone. A friend of mine posted this on Facebook a few days ago: “If you have a voice within you saying, ‘you are not a painter,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” -VINCENT VAN GOGH

but that is not true for me. Even as I paint, I hear that nasty voice. It’s messing with me, sabotaging me. I finish a painting and I think it is great, and then I realize it isn’t. So I start another one. And another one. Am i going in the right direction? Is that aspect of my painting messy or is it my “style”?
Don’t lock yourself up, don’t get drunk. I love your idea about the assisted living center! It made me remember that when my father was in one, he happily sat for me, barely moving a muscle.

Posted by mimi torchia boothby watercolors · via sullistudios.com · 133 months ago

Thanks Mimi – great quote. All of that anxiety was followed by a great day of painting. I’m doing portraits in a beautiful gallery surrounded by work from successful, well trained artists. I was a bit intimidated, but I did it, and it went well. SOOOOOO pleased to be past the fear of it. – and getting some great direction from the gallery owner too. I’ll post some pics later today. Cheers.

Posted by kelly · via sullistudios.com · 133 months ago

Dream Big

Comments

1 Response to Dream Big

aw, how adorable!!

Posted by mimi torchia boothby watercolors · via sullistudios.com · 134 months ago

Success

Name (required)

Email Address (required)

Website/Blog Address

Comments (required)

Remember Your Info
Check this box if you want email updates when people comment on this post

To help us prevent spam, Please enter the code in the box:

(Click the submit button below after you’ve entered the code)

Superman’s starting to rock my club house

Getting There. Every painting should feel this good.

I can’t wait to wake up tomorrow and bring him along.

Comments

1 Response to Superman’s starting to rock my club house

I saw the real thing this morning and couldn’t help but smile.

Posted by Tom · via sullistudios.com · 134 months ago

Success

Name (required)

Email Address (required)

Website/Blog Address

Comments (required)

Remember Your Info
Check this box if you want email updates when people comment on this post

To help us prevent spam, Please enter the code in the box:

(Click the submit button below after you’ve entered the code)

Superman

Superman flew into my studio today. He was about 3 years old and very impressed with his muscles.

I have 12 days to finish two pieces for The Portrait Society of America’s Annual International Competition. I looked at all last year’s winners; very traditional, very well done, and very intimidating. Tom pointed out that there were 14 images of women and only 4 of men. “Perhaps your odds are better if you paint women,” he said.

I never paid much attention to my odds. If I had, I’d likely have chosen a different career. I want to paint superman. His name is Liam. He loves milk and apples. He’s my favorite wee man in the whole world.

I headed to the studio this morning, excited, but hesitant, as I’ve had a few rough days this week. I wish painting was like riding a bike. One day I think “Yippee, I’ve got it!” only to follow it with mud on over-sided lips set on a pea-sized head with crooked eyeballs? I thought I had gotten close to saving it a few times, but when ‘superman’ – now 11– walked into the studio and lovingly delivered a scalding critique, I wiped it out and decided to move on to the pressing matter at hand.

My canvases were prepared. I had cut, stretched, gessoed, and tinted them already. They were calling me, a sweet alluring song. They were big. I have not done ‘big’ since I switched to oils. Big is way more expensive now.

I sketched him out. Keeping it simple I tried to catch his expression. His sweet face began to develop, and I felt myself loosen up. I felt myself…smile. Step back, move in, step back, look up. There he was, staring down at his muscle. I remembered, and I laughed – out loud. God, I love that little bugger. Imitating his stance and expression, I made another mark, and laughed again at his sweet fat lip perched out over his double chin, synched by his red cape; a little man with big plans… a superhero in the making…my small boy that is rapidly growing into a young man. He still makes me smile, and he still checks out his muscles.

What depth this little dude has added to my life. If I can capture just a smidge of his exuberance, the jury should, at the very least, get a good laugh. And I will forever have my superman.

Comments

2 Responses to Superman

my son was Popeye. He’d even introduce himself that way. “I’m Popeye the sailor man toot toot.”
I can’t wait to see when you’re finished!

Posted by mimi torchia boothby watercolors · via sullistudios.com · 134 months ago

I love it already!!

Posted by Reed · via sullistudios.com · 134 months ago

Success

Name (required)

Email Address (required)

Website/Blog Address

Comments (required)

Remember Your Info
Check this box if you want email updates when people comment on this post

To help us prevent spam, Please enter the code in the box:

(Click the submit button below after you’ve entered the code)

Push to Let

I took a singing lesson last week. I was painting a woman who explained to me that she started taking lessons from an 82-year-old man who claims ‘he can teach anyone to sing’. I took this as a personal challenge. I have always sung – in the shower, in the car, in the studio, and on one inebriated occasion, at a karaoke bar. Generally, I reserve this expressive medium for when I am alone, or when I’m so emotional that I blast Carole King in the living room and sing along as my dear sweet family patiently wanders off.

I have not always been a reclusive singer. When I was young I was sure I would be the next Stevie Nicks. Repeated pleas for silence from my siblings eventually caused me to reconsider career paths. They were not being cruel. They were right. I had a bold voice with no sense of ….???? I never really knew, actually, except that it was apparently unpleasant.

I called Bob and offered him the challenge of his career. He accepted. While, I am not singing from rooftops just yet, at lease I now understand why I sound so bad. It’s called pitch, and as a painter, I could relate it to value. There is a high and a low, a light and a dark, and everything in between needs to relate – or it sounds and looks…unpleasant. This is basic, I know, but for me… a tardy epiphany.

He continued. “Don’t push.” I scrunched my face…Hugh? “You don’t have to ‘push’ out your voice. You can just ‘let’ it out,” he said. He stated that I likely have a tenacious personality that is accustomed to fighting for what it wants. HUMMMM??…who told him?, I thought. “Your speaking voice has the same ‘push’ to it,” he said, “and by adjusting the ‘push’ to a ‘let’, you will not only improve your voice, but your life.”

Wow, all that for 40 bucks?!

Sensing my doubt, he asked if I ever get so frustrated with my canvases that I slash them when they are not going my way. Bewildered, I shook my head. “Noooooo, never….my mind is never in that state when I paint. Paint is what takes that state away. If it doesn’t work I just wipe it out and paint something else,” I explained.

AHHHH!!! He said excitedly, shaking his finger at me. “Sing like you paint then! Speak like you paint! Live like you paint! Do it, and you will be amazed, and you will be happy.”

Yes, all that for $40 bucks.

Comments

10 Responses to Push to Let

I remember singing a few with you from the McNasty’s jukebox, long ago and far away! Yippee ei ay…Cow-Patty!

What a great lesson to learn for 40 bucks….it’s priceless information from a wise man! Paint on sister!

Posted by Lisa Young · via sullistudios.com · 134 months ago

Hmmmmm

Posted by Reed Sullivan · via sullistudios.com · 134 months ago

Love this portrait of this little boy. You’ve done an excellent job on it.
Hugs

Posted by Chae · via sullistudios.com · 134 months ago

Great story. I hope you’re going back?

Posted by mimi · via sullistudios.com · 134 months ago

You “always never cease to amaze me”………

Sing your heart out – but don’t push? He sounds like a great old guy!!

You sound happy!!

Hugs to Happiness!

Ginny

Posted by Ginny · via sullistudios.com · 134 months ago

I feel so fortunate to have met you. Your attitude inspires. Your work inspires.

Posted by Cheryl · via sullistudios.com · 134 months ago

Cheryl…. from the Hora??? Is that you? I feel blessed to have met you too. I hope your family still looks upon that piece of art with much love and affection. I’ll be on the east coast this summer. Perhaps a cocktail in the city…?

Posted by kelly · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

Hey – I am going to do some street art here in Kayenta in April. Makes me nervous. Haven’t performed in public with my art – oh well!!! I need to be gutsy like you!

Posted by GINNY · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

Yes, just be gutsy Ginny. You are fun and wonderful – they’ll love you, and your work.

Posted by kelly · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

BIG CONGRATS ON YOUR FIRST SELL OUT!!!!!!!
YOU ARE ON TO SOMETHING…..

Posted by GINNY · via kellysullivanfineart.com · 133 months ago

Success

Name (required)

Email Address (required)

Website/Blog Address

Comments (required)

Remember Your Info
Check this box if you want email updates when people comment on this post

To help us prevent spam, Please enter the code in the box:

(Click the submit button below after you’ve entered the code)

The Top Button

You know when you need it. You can’t quite handle the pressure anymore and you’re aching to let it all hang out. At first, you are embarrassed by your inability to contain it all, but you know the relief you will feel when you succumb to the necessity, and you relish the coming of it.

Bam! – there it goes like a slingshot. There is no retaining that build-up, the compression, the weighing against a thread-thin line of defense. Ahhhh…, I don’t care who sees it. Yes, it is my gut; the whole gelatinous thing. It is what I am made of. It took years of work to get it there – and it will take years of work to quell it again – but for now – it’s out.

I feel like I’m stepping off a cliff of sorts, and I can’t wait to fly (or plummet to the ground – though flying is what I have in mind, gut and all)… sometimes my breath shortens at the thought of it, and I like that.

“There is no better time to reach for the unexpected, than when no one expects it.” I think I just made that up, and I like that too.

The ‘crash’ was no fun. We went from jet airplanes and black cards to counting change and shutting down the cable. It’s been a slow and steady decline that we have shared with a great deal of Americans. The concept of ‘one step forward, ten steps back’ was a jagged little pill, but we got it down.

Through it all, I have painted more than I have in years, and I am incredibly inspired by non-material things, though a day at the spa would not kill me.

If life is in a state of flux, you ought to sculpt it as you wish before it stifens once again. You can be a struggling creative anywhere – so why not move around a bit and see what you bump into.

For most of my adult life, I have dreamed of living in Italy for a year, educating our children there, rolling supple sounds off of my tongue that refer to love, food, and paint, meeting distant relatives, LIVING, PAINTING, DREAMING… whatever that means, and whatever it brings…I relish it, and I am giddily lacking sleep over the thought of a new adventure.

The plan (as loose as it is) is to move to Bologna, Italy for one year. Still kicking around all of the details, but they will develop. Today I joined ‘The International Women’s Forum of Bologna, Italy’. Heaven only knows what will follow… but I’m looking forward to ferreting out the formula.

Comments

5 Responses to The Top Button

best of luck to you, that is one of those dreams I will never act out. I hope you continue to blog so that I can at least live it through you. Hang in there!

Posted by mimi · via sullistudios.com · 135 months ago

– why will you never act it out Mimi??

Posted by kelly sullivan · via sullistudios.com · 135 months ago

because my kids are 30 and 32 years old and they don’t live with us any more. 🙂
I was mollified somewhat when both of them at least took Italian as a language in college and we did all go to Italy together in 2003 for a couple weeks.

Posted by mimi · via sullistudios.com · 135 months ago

Wow! Wonderful! I am so happy for you–wonderful idea and though I realize it means you won’t be visiting me in the Philippines (this year!) I am thrilled for you and your family…maybe I’ll come visit YOU!!

Posted by Diane Pool · via sullistudios.com · 135 months ago

Oh, I would not bet on that! Italy is closer to the Philippines that Idaho is. Not much – but closer. You are still at the top of my -visit and paint for a month list – Italy is at the top of my live and paint for a year list. We will meet. One place or the other – we will meet and paint – and likely share a cocktail or two.

Posted by kelly sullivan · via sullistudios.com · 135 months ago

Success

Name (required)

Email Address (required)

Website/Blog Address

Comments (required)

Remember Your Info
Check this box if you want email updates when people comment on this post

To help us prevent spam, Please enter the code in the box:

(Click the submit button below after you’ve entered the code)

A simple existance

I want a simple existence; one that is not complicated by legalities and draining financial commitments. One that is not hard to fill with laughter.

I think I’m special. I always have. I guess my parents did a good job of filling my head with rhetoric they hoped I would someday believe, so that I could, in turn, be special.

I know the world suffers. I know the political system is scarred and decrepit. People ache, and die. Too much of this planet is warped by pain and injustice. I know I am not immune to that kind of environment. Yet, I was born into a stable place, with food, heat, and family, so my true understanding is swayed. Still, I manage to find myself lost in despair, regardless, from time to time.

I sit here trying to convey my feelings of loneliness and thirst into a word doc while the turning pages of a book across the room make us want to stand up and shout “listen to me”. Yet open ears before me, I find myself with nothing to say. The keyboard edits my inappropriate rage, while my wicked tongue stings without tonic, and silence ensue.

I will lose myself, only to find myself, though the discovery may be as muddy as the colors I mix. I want a simple existence, one that is not hard to fill with laughter.

Comments

2 Responses to A simple existance

I can’t find my precious book of quotes so I may not have this correct, but here it goes anyway:
“There is a world of difference between the person who says only to their self, There is no hope, and the person who says it aloud.”

Wanting a simple life and saying there is no hope are not exactly the same thing, but your ability to say what you feel aloud is extraordinarily comforting–validating–to those of us who feel the same. It’s really hard to find the path and stay there. (Muchless get back to it once you’ve wandered away…) You always have something worthy to say, Kelly. You really are special.

Posted by Diane Pool · via sullistudios.com · 135 months ago

Strive for the moments of happiness that you can find and continue to do the little things that will make the world a tiny bit better.
We owe this to our children because they must follow in our footsteps when they arrive in the same place that we are at now.

Posted by mimi · via sullistudios.com · 135 months ago

Success

Name (required)

Email Address (required)

Website/Blog Address

Comments (required)

Remember Your Info
Check this box if you want email updates when people comment on this post

To help us prevent spam, Please enter the code in the box:

(Click the submit button below after you’ve entered the code)

Rejection

Comments

Leave a Comment

Shiny Faces and a Sold-Out Show

Comments

Leave a Comment

Happy I didn’t run

Comments

Leave a Comment

Raw

Comments

Dream Big

Comments

Leave a Comment

Superman’s starting to rock my club house

Comments

Leave a Comment

Superman

Comments

Leave a Comment

Push to Let

Comments

Leave a Comment

The Top Button

Comments

Leave a Comment

A simple existance

Comments

Leave a Comment