Silence doesn’t mean I have nothing to say, but perhaps a brush can babble too much.

I had big plans for January. They changed. I needed to reevaluate. I decided to slow down and smell the paint. A short reprieve from the intensity to focus on a few other important things – like my husband, and my children.  My attention to them, perhaps a bit overdue.

My Lambertville portrait project (as mentioned in the last newsletter) is still happening, but my deadline has moved from one week ago, to an indefinite time in the near future. I have sitters who have agreed to pose. And I am excited to paint them. It will come. But the breath and the family feel good. Really good.

I’ve redirected some time to work on the Global FingerSmear project. I have been dreaming about for years. It’s forming, and to see it grow is exciting. But it raises many questions too. Personal ones that I don’t know the answers to yet.

I know the writing as been sparse lately, and I’m thankful for those of you that check back regardless of my recent absence.  This is just the calm… before the storm. It’s all good. I’ve always liked dancing in the rain.

I misheard a song the other day.  I’ve heard it 100’s of times before, but not for a long time. So the lyrics escpaed me, and I didn’t quite get it, but I really got it… “Did you exchange, a walk-on part in the world,  for a lead role in a cage?”  “Wow, that’s fantastic”, I thought to myself. Over and over again for days I repeated it in my head. Did you exchange a walk on part in the world… for a lead role in a cage?

“Almost” – I thought to myself. Almost.

So much more to come. So much more.

So much to say…so many thoughts. Love, desire, drive, conflict, family, resolution, conflict, …resolution. Art, waits in the wings, pulsing. Waiting. Not so patiently. No, not so patiently. My motivation and desire for it construed as selfish. So I wait. And I wonder. Selfish?…Is it so?

The telling of it unfolds. For some, it appears to be full of color. For others, it will only read as black. January, for me, holds color. Should I apologize  for those that can’t see it? Perhaps I should, but the doing of it makes my insides ache.

…No. Not so patient. Indeed…

“Update your blog” he said. “I keep going there to see what’s up and there’s nothing new.”

Life has kicked into high gear, and I’m still futzing with my training wheels.

“Simple Pleasures” was great. Ended the opening evening with 11 pieces sold, and more moving.

Two days later I did a FingerSmear job for Old Navy in Boring, OR. The gig itself was a blast, but most interesting was the entourage of musicians playing with soul legend Boosty Collins at the event. We all met at happy hour after the close of the gig (I love hotel bars), which led to dinner, and a few follow up emails of friendships promised to last. At some point during dinner, I looked around this table of diverse, creative people with lives on the move and considered myself incredibly lucky to be living in that moment, in that place. Always nice when that happens.

My invitation to paint at The Bitter End Yacht Club, Virgin Gorda,  has been confirmed. I will be there from February 22^nd – March 6^th, painting my heart out. No worries of food or drink. I’ll be swapping accommodations and libations for one years worth of reproduction rights to whatever I paint on site. I’m excited to see what kind of work comes out of such a unique opportunity.

On Saturday I went to a Christmas party flying solo. I tried to dig up a few interesting artsy friends, but all were previously engaged. I decided to go it alone. At first a bit awkward, but a quick “thanks for the invitation” to the host, led to “let me show you some work” – which happened to be hanging in the bar area, full of  many other interesting people. On the evening went… A little chutzpa pays off, particularly if you can mask it with a bit of grace. Old age and wisdom – good bedfellows.

Walking home last night I passed by a little bistro. I heard live music, an unfortunate rarity in this otherwise really cool little town. The place was packed with seated tables. I stood in the vestibule for a few minutes and listened. I could not see any of the players faces, just their backsides and the way they shifted. They were all playing the same tune, but thier feet tapped in different rhythmic patterns. I thought that was interesting. I smiled, and walked home.

Life is good. It is full. January will see many figures – many faces – played out in piant. I’m thankful, and happy. Thanks for checking in.

“Choose your words wisely” she said to me, “they are magic.”

I chuckled at the thought of it.

But she was right.

We speak constantly. We create reality with our thoughts.

We construct it with our words.

Words put our beliefs into action.

They solidify what we feel and turn the course of existence.

We can mutter, and think no one hears. They may not, but we did.

Don’t underestimate your ability to pilot,

and know that your words take the lead.

Speak the things you want. Hush the things you don’t.

Even for a day, and see if it changes your way.

I need a wife. But I am one. In there lies a predicament.  I don’t want a modern wife, a liberated one with her own goals … like me. I want the other kind, like the ones from the fifties who freshen up before you arrive home, mix you a cocktail, clean the house, make dinner – and manage all of the small business details of your artistic career.

OK, I really just want one who will manage all of the small business details of my artistic career.

Striving to be a better painter takes continual ‘work’ if I can call it that. It takes time. And the better you get, the more you want to put out there so that it is seen, and it sells, and it grows. Unless you are ‘kept’, you need to feed your pigment habit, as well as your family. This forces either economic success, or an alternative income. If those are my options, well… there is no option.

I’m fortunate. I stumbled into a nice career of finger painting (believe it or not). I’ve managed to create a income as an artist, though my tactics were far from traditional. My success depended as much on my ability to produce a proposal as it did the art I created on site. The balance of business and art were equally weighted, no doubt about it. As the years move on, I’ve become more and more dedicated to classical art, and the study of it.  All I’ve ever wanted was to be an artist, surrounded by peers, making a difference in the world.  My vision has become more focused, and my dedication and passion for it has not wavered.

But all the tenacity in the world doesn’t change the fact that if art is to be your business, there is business to be done. There is as much going on behind the easel as there is in front of it: web sites, blogs, shows, frames, marketing, client contact, press releases, finance and taxes.  It is almost too much for one creative mind to absorb, let alone accomplish. Complicating the issue is that the more time I spend in front of my easel, the less time I want to spend at my desk. But it seems that their demands for attention coincide. One without the other is only half the recipe, and your cake will flop – unless of course you have a good wife. Then perhaps it will show up well frosted.

(#30 of 30, it just felt really good to type that!)

This project was about time.  Choosing where to spend it. More time at the easel, less time wishing I were there, and no time wondering how to make it happen. I knew that my kids would excuse the minimalist dinners and spur me on.  I knew that I would grow.

So I took the time.  I see progress and I’m proud. It pleases me. I’m looking forward to more time. I’m thankful for the luxury of it and I have no want to waste it.

I have another plan. My Fingersmear career opus. It has been in development for years – on the back burner…stewing. I recently turned the heat up, and it smells delicious.

The concept is once again, about simplicity – though the execution, a bit more complex.

Launching in August of 2012, “The Global FingerSmear Project” will travel around the world to illustrate and celebrate the simple gestures that bind us together, and the cultural nuances that set us apart. Accompanied by a small team of fellow artists and documentary film-makers we will traverse the globe to meet with farmers, leaders, artists, lovers, mothers, brothers… We will bring the world together through the dip of fingers in cold paint, creating a massive piece of collaborative art that will demonstrate how a simple action can lead to celebration and hope. We are artists. We have the power to inspire a peaceful world.  We can create it – simply.

We just need a little more time.

no words today… just paint.