Quirky Existence

I went to a used bookstore today. The proprietor that sat behind the counter had roamed the alleys for over 25 years. He knew every volume in the store. “Quirky existence,” I thought to myself.

I stood in the first isle. It contained all of the art books; large, beautiful volumes. I delicately pulled each one off in alphabetical order and thumbed through them. Some quickly enveloped me, others I brushed off as someone made famous by a blind congregation.

I found a hardcover of Manet, a small volume of Degas’s work, and a book on Russian painters. I didn’t know any of the Russian artists, but that didn’t make them any less impressive. Interestingly, the fact that I didn’t know who they were, and that their work made me hungry for more, drew me in even further.

I’m at an odd point in life. I am more inspired and creatively charged than I have ever been. I am so thirsty for more knowledge and better work that it borders on unquenchable. I see myself progressing. I see my work develop. I know that the 40 years of aching to understand is finally being fueled, and my appetite only grows. Like an addict of sorts, I guess.

Friends and clients reinforce my development with gestures that spur me on: sales, commissions, blog posts… but the academia of fine art – the ‘societies’, still reject what I put out. I’d like to pretend that it doesn’t matter. I tell myself that they are swayed by politics and social media. I once heard a master painter quote a fellow juror – “it’s a brilliant piece, but it just isn’t big enough so therefore it can not win”… Perhaps he had heard that reasoning before, and couldn’t let go. Perhaps he was just a putz.

Or…there is the reality that my work just wasn’t good enough. I may never know. Or more likely, I may just choose to disagree.

I do not want to wane on here or sing the song of the sad rejected romantic. I want to shout it. For those that persist, though their tune may go unnoticed, are the ones more likely to make an honest statement. No regrets for my voice, just a bit of sadness for the ears it fell upon.

“Quirky existence”… I think to myself.


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11 Responses to Quirky Existence

Hey Kelly!
Saw this blog post on fine art newsletter in my mailbox. Did you move back east? No longer in Idaho? It is a nice post, very open and honest, good for you:)

Thanks, Kelly, I enjoyed this.

Hi Kim – great to hear from you! I saw your newsletter this morning – your work looks great – and I want to come on your next paint out! Yes, I moved, and it’s been good for me. Long story, but working my way through it. Cheers.

Hi Margo – thanks! I’m pleased that you enjoyed it- really. Hope to hear from you again.

Kelly, I read your article and It made me think of a movie I recently saw: ” The Impressionists”.
WE are not doing art to be recognized. The important is to get up in the morning and be exhilarated by a day in the studio. The rest will flow. That is my perspective. I do not want to stress about what people think of me. It is actually none of my business!
Thanks for writing.

Kelly,
Very beautifully said; and if I might add: the artist life is fundamentally solitary. We are, however, generally, social creatures and require contact with others. Like producers of most products and services, we appreciate feedback instead of indifference. I personally find the pursuit of creation in art inexhaustibly fertile. From technique to subject matter, from color to texture, from ideas to sales, so much to learn! It IS a quirky existence, but only when compared to a contrived culture which has been and is terribly distracted by ‘business’, technology, aging, etc. Fortunately for me, and you, this quirky existence feels like well-worn boots, a favorite flannel shirt, faded jeans, and a hot bowl of soup on an overcast and chilly day.

BRAVA Kelly!!!! Very well said. Am sure there are more than a few of us who agree with your article.

Irene, Robert Gigi, thanks for commenting. I am always inspired by a day at the studio, but I must still pay the rent there – and flow is so much easier when I’m not thinking about the rent.

“Fortunately for me, and you, this quirky existence feels like well-worn boots, a favorite flannel shirt, faded jeans, and a hot bowl of soup on an overcast and chilly day.” – love this, makes me want soup.

I will keep painting, and keep writing, and I am thankful for everyday that I get to wake up and do it all over again. -is also really nice to know there are so many others out there juggling that same creative spirit that is not easy to quell. Cheers, Kelly

Hi Kelly, this article is me. I find myself wandering into the used bookstores for more and more info, devouring everything I can about art and painting. I also get frustrated with rejections but tell myself it’s all in the improvements you make in your current painting. Every painting is a little better and the fun of painting for me is that the learning curve is never ending. There is always something I can reach for. I am not crazy about being alone painting so much but once I get into painting I lose all sense of time so hours alone fly by. Thanks for the post. It’s nice knowing their are others out there like me.

Why should anyone buy your paintings? Your paintings are a mirror of your mind not their mind. Would it be an exception for someone to relate to the images that are roaming around in someone else’s mind? I have sold ugly paintings by well “recognized artists” who died years ago for tens of thousands of dollars. Why would anyone pay thousands of dollars for a few dollars worth of paint on a canvas? Because the buying and selling of art is no different to professional collectors of art than the buying and selling of stock is to serious investors. The aesthetic value of the painting rarely enters into it. They look for underpriced bargains that they can buy cheap and sell higher for a nice profit. What they look for in buying a painting is the froth – the artists track record in selling their paintings e.g. price at auction, one man shows, collections the art appears in, museums they hang in, etc. Supposedly a MBA helps you get a head in business. Having a fine art degree or other professional training puts you ahead of an artist without any “professional training” in the art collector’s check list. Sticking to a specific theme in your paintings enhances their value. Whatever you do, never deviate from a theme that sells because it confuses art collectors and they avoid confusion because it reduces the odds of a profitable sale of your art in the future. Painting larger paintings helps because collectors can make more money for a large painting than a small painting. It is B.S. industry. Some artists are very good at playing the game. They are great marketers and salesmen and know how to play the market by giving THEM what THEY want. However, if every image is the best that YOU can create then is that not where your real fulfilment should come from? If you do not want to play the art game then find a job that pays the bills but gives you lots of free time to paint. You may find that being part of the “real world” is stimulating for your paintings. It is hard to paint in a vacumn.

Hmmm… I shall think on that Ian. Navigating life is a game – and you must play if with some finesse or you’ll find yourself alone and without shelter. I also think that perhaps I may cater to a different kind of collector. I have bought art -not for the sake of profit, but because it moved me and I chose to live with it. I believe that the verve of the painter creates the “froth”, not the degree. I sell because I engage, not because I have a good resale value. That may change, but for now – emotion and a sense of pleasure are my leading sales tools. Anyone that knows me or buys my work also knows that this is my “real world”, and it’s quite full. Painting in a vacuum would be poison. You live as an artist, or not. I play the game, and I know the rules – but sometimes I choose to break them.

Hi Beth – yep, plenty of us! Thanks for the comment.

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Pignoli Nut Cookies

Oh…the deception of a pignoli nut cookie. I’m half Italian, and almost 50, and I’d never had this cookie. I almost passed it up, but for the urging of a cousin who had immediately rationed them, leaving the children off the list entirely. One bite caused my jaw to slow from the sweetness. “Wait, wait,” I thought to myself. “Go slower, roll that around a bit… wow, what is that?? It’s sinful and divine all at the same time! God forgive me… I’m having another!!” Yes, I get this excited about food.

How many other things in life are wrapped up in unassuming packages, seemingly coated by a film of dullness? We run across these packages every day I’m sure. The clerk with the funny eye that I’ve never spoken to; the big lady in charge of selling raffle tickets for the church, the one I’m sure I have nothing in common with. What if they are at all like a pignoli nut cookie…deceptively unappealing at first glance, but rich and luscious on the inside for those that bother to discover? Yes, perhaps even the church lady might be like this. Maybe she serves pignoli nut cookies to her husband on a heavy raffle day. Perhaps she warms him up, and then pulls him in with some titillating conversation, followed by a smokin’ Hail Mary… we can only guess, but the cookie makes me wonder…what else do we pass by thanks to our preconceptions?

I get it. We have to form opinions and profiling is a natural course of any social existence, but these discoveries are precious. I know that I am quick to form an opinion, quick to judge, though thanks to age and experience, slow to comment. That is fortunate, as I have met many that have shot my shortsighted notions to the sand pile – most recently, a pignoli nut cookie…and a belly dancer.


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2 Responses to Pignoli Nut Cookies

If I didn’t think you were the most amazingly creative person, hands down in total admiration, I’d be jealous as hell. I LOVE the cookie crumb trail you leave for the rest of us to follow as you dance through the forest of personal discoveries. More, please….

Hellooooo Diane! Nice to hear from you. You flatter me. More, please…. just kidding. We need to catch up. I’m still coming to that little island sometime to paint and sit on your sail boat. I’m about to head into a very productive stage of my life – I think – so yes, I will be pleased to give you more.

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New Keys

It rained last night. The dust had settled, but everything needed a good rinse. It was nice. I’ve made my way through most of the boxes and while there are still holes to fill, I feel very much at home in this 120-year-old house. It’s warm. It feels good. And for the time being, it’s mine.

I have painted only a few times since I arrived on the east coast. A sweet little piece that I posted in my last blog, an awful landscape that will soon become a basecoat for something much stronger, and a great FingerSmear project with a team at J&J. With my home ‘resettled’, I feel a fierce excitement to get busy – and do what I came here to do –paint better, laugh more, and live simply. I still have a few obstacles to work out, but I’m headed in the right direction.

Yesterday I picked up the keys to my new studio. I move my paints into the space on September first. I will be working out of a studio in The Robert Beck Academy in Lambertville, NJ. Robert is a great painter with a generous spirit and I feel blessed to be working under his banner for a spell. It will help to immerse me in the dedicated practice I’ve been looking for. I will bring verve. I hope the results are beautiful. I will surely share them.

AND… I am going to teach!!! I’ll have a bit of guidance in the structure, but the rest is mine to design. It’s wickedly exciting… let me know if you would like to join me.

Kelly Sullivan

Beginning Oil Painting.

Eight-week course on the basics of oil painting open to all levels. Great for beginning and early level painters who want to form a solid foundation of painting skills. Small classes, individual attention, move at your own pace. The course includes basics, such as: describing light and shadow, considering composition, and working with tools, surfaces, and color. Students will paint from life to develop fundamental drawing and painting skills. A great place to start. Oil or Acrylic

2 eight-week sessions:

Wednesday, Sept 14 – Nov 2nd, 9-12

Thursday, Sept 15 – Nov 3rd, 6-9

$375 Contact instructor for further information and supply list. 732.233.5614


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3 Responses to New Keys

You have made so much progress already – am I surprised – well….NO! You will be an inspiring teacher and understand the frustrations and excitement of those who will be your students! Oh, and you will be FUN! Give those kiddos a big hug from me! Just fyi – I sold 5 paintings last month! Looking forward to seeing more of your work……

Wow Ginny – that is great!! I gave the kids a hug and acted like you – they both smiled. And thanks- I think I will be a fun teacher, and it will be fun for me too.

You are a nut – a fun loving nut – never change!!

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With a bit of woe

(written the night before my move, but just found a moment to post it)

I pack my boxes and busy myself, verbally repeating my excitement for things to come over and over in my mind. I don’t have to make it up. I mean it. A new start is invigorating, and I’m ready. I’ve packed my schedule so full that the move has crept up and blindsided me – a planned assault of sorts. I sit here now in my living room to-be-no-more, and it’s quiet. The Grand Teton mountains sit still, and for a short moment, so does my heart, and parts of it are heavy. This was not the planned turned of events we dreamt about when we moved here over 7 years ago. This was not the outcome we bet on with our toil. Not the master plan we had designed. But alas, the pot of gold held chocolate coins. Tempting and sweet, but in the end left a bit of litter, and a few cavities.

I leave this majestic place with a sense of renewed excitement, one that I was forced to birth in order to move forward. But it is accompanied by a sadness and loss for the things we grew that thrived, as well as the ones that died. I live in a dream of what could be. I dream big. I challenge myself beyond my comfort zones repeatedly, yet I have never met the expectations of my own imagination, and therefore, fall short, no matter the conquest.

I’m not sure how many more moves I have left in me. I would like to find that sweet spot. No need to be fancy – just full. Full of art, inspiration, and friends. For those I’ve met, admired, and loved in Teton Valley – I am blessed to have passed through – and I thank you. Much love.


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8 Responses to With a bit of woe

NO story to go along with the painting?

Here you go pumpkin…

We wish you all the best in your new home, Kelly. You have always met challenges head on, and you will really thrive in the east.
Our door is always open to you and your family if you come back this way.
We are very proud of you!

Love, Elizabeth and Nick

Okay – so the “pot of gold” comments put a big lump in my throat and my eyes got teary….dang you!!!!!! I peaked into the old studio yesterday – yikes! But enough…..

I am going to stay in touch and watch you pour yourself forth into new beginnings – can’t wait to see what you accomplish next!!!!

Love ya,
Hi to the kiddos and Tom xoxo
Ginny

Ops! I meant to say I “peeked”, not peaked. I haven’t peaked yet!! Ginny

Glad to hear things are poppin! Are you in the house with the wallpaper?

Hope all your upcoming projects go famously. Your creativity and entrepreneur abilities are inspirational.

You go girl!!!

The wallpaper has been removed. We move in on the 15th – very excited.

Hi Kelly
Are you in NJ? I can’t find your contact info…so when you’re done unpacking give me a call. I’d love to see you! I may be coming to Lambertville in the next few weeks. My cell is 908-489-4957. Talk Soon!

Jill

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One more workshop

My last week in Idaho is being spent taking Carolyn Anersons workshop. She provides a different way of looking at things, dealing with shadows, loosing edges. Two days left. Monday brought this piece – Tuesday’s was a dog – We’ll see what happens today…


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2 Responses to one more workshop

You are getting sooo good Kelly!!! It seem as though you are on fire!! You are doing what you have always wanted to do and making the priorities in your life soar!!! Good for you! I’ll miss you this summer : (

Hi Ginny!!! How are you?? Yes, I’m working hard. I’m happy you see some improvement. We are planning to head east on Sunday. I think I will miss you too my friend. I hope your show is a smash daalin”…

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Sweetest article ever written about me!!!

While I did the series of portriat sketches at The Art Spirit Gallery in CDA, Idaho, The Coeur d’Alene Press sent Maureen Dolan to do a story about what it would be like to sit for an artist. She just sent me the results. I’m flattered. Thank you Maureen.

Read Maureen’s article in the Coeur D’Alene Press here


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5 Responses to Sweetest article ever written about me!!!

aha, so you put on a show when you paint! sounds like a lot of fun.. Yet another Jersey gal..

Hey Kelly,

Snake Momma here. Wow, that was a great article, nicely done you! I like the smirk too. I wanted to fined out how it went with the Carol Anderson class?

Have you move to Jersey Yet? Anymore classes in your future? I love all the portraits; just amazing!

I have a pic of you Leffel and Mcgraw that I’ll be sending you soon.

Cheers, Lisa

Mimi and Lisa – yes, quite a show I’m sure!! I’m in Carolyn’s class now – learning a lot of new concepts, but producing wretched work the past two days. Leaving for NJ on Sunday. Love the group pic Lisa, thanks.

Kelly Girl!

Loved the portrait and the article! Hope your move has gone well and you are relaxing on the Jersey shore!

Hugs, Renanne

Hi Renanne, yes, in NJ – but not quite settled yet – or on the shore. Visiting a lot of family, and headed to the beach soon. I’m excited about the future – and that is a good thing.

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Wrapping it Up

I had a great week at The Art Spirit Gallery in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho . Thank you to Steve Gibbs for having me once again. We’ll do it again next year. -Looking forward to seeing my family today.


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Only two

I only have two to show today. The first, a great musician that played at my last reception when I was in Coeur d’Alene in March – Robby French. Super talented – and a real pleasure to paint. I’m quite pleased with the result, and so was he.

#2 – not shown here – I didn’t get a decent shot of it, and the shots that I did get left me with a very clear understanding of the edits that I need to make in the morning. To my beautiful friend Sylvia – you’ll be far more fab in the morning.

and finally #3 – Holly – she watched from behind when I painted her man in March. This time around her view was a bit different. Apparently I make many amusing facial gestures when I paint… We followed the sitting with a good bottle of wine and thorough conversation about life as we know it.

Good day – very tired….


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3 Responses to Only two

Kelly, nice job on my little sis’ Holly! You totally caught that “look” she can shoot when she’s wondering just what’s going on. She’s beautiful, sweet and looks a little tired, but she deserves that and I’m glad you enjoyed a bottle of wine with her. She and I are WAY overdue for sharing a bottle and discussing life…. I’m lovin’ that, and all your work!

Thanks Fawn!! it’s always nice to hear that someone out there like what your doing… I hope you and Holly get to share that bottle soon.

What an honor and priviledge to sit for Kelly…she is such a wonderful, unique lady with SO much talent! I don’t believe I have ever sat still that long or kept my mcuth shut for so long!!! It was a fab experience!Thankyou Kelly…and thank you Fawn…soon.

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I get by with a little help from my friends…

I made it to the gallery this morning with a low fat no-whip mocha,  but no breakfast.  Most of my morning was spent excitedly reading emails and advice from my fellow artists. Then I saw the clock and flung myself into action mode.

My first sitter – Major Ben Wolfinger, Commander at The Kootenai County Sheriffs Department (and former customer and friend from our days of running Tubs Cafe).  I had not seen him for 10 years, and he had not changed a bit.  Still happy, proud, and easy company (as long as he was not arresting you).

Next, Michael DePasquale, owner operator and leading cook, bookkeeper, and bottle washer at his Coeur D’Alene eatery – Michael D’s.  Though I have known his reputation as a restaurateur for years, this was the first time I really got to sit in his company – actually, he was the one sitting, I got to stand in his company. It was nice to get to know him a bit better.  Looking at someone’s face for an hour and 1/2, and witnessing their reaction to your interaction generally sheds some insight.  He’s a nice east coast Italian boy that loves his family and loves his work.  He sat with a friendly pride that I was proud to paint, and I hope I caught him.  It will hang in the eatery, and I look forward to seeing it there!

And finally, a stranger in the mix.  She was not a stranger for long.  Meet Maureen Dolan.  A Jersey girl, just like me. She was on assignment for The Coeur d’Alene Press. The story is to be about ‘what it’s like to sit for a portrait’.  It was her first time.  She’s a solid girl with an easy laugh, and when we found that we were Jersey sista’s, the rest flowed like water.  She’s got a dastardly grin.  I wanted the grin.  I asked her to tip up her head and hold the ‘smirk’ for as long as she could handle it.  It was fun for both of us. Me, dancing around her face with verbal outbursts of my internal dialogue “and then it goes up, and it gets more pale but a bit more blue, and then boom it peaks, then it recedes, uuuuuuppp happy little corner….over to shadow….” She giggled a lot during the sitting, mostly at the oddness of the experience.  I think she enjoyed it, and I think she’ll write happy things about it.  We’ll see. You know I’ll post it! – unless she say’s it was a drag…

Soooo… as for my amigos with all the excellent advice – I tried to add all the good stuff into my work today.  The pieces here really DO have more colors than these shots represent – I worked to make the shadows more even, but perhaps I just need to take a pallet knife and lay them in like butter! We’ll see what tomorrow brings… thanks for coming along for the ride and providing directions.  Please, feel free to elaborate. cheers.


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1 Response to I get by with a little help from my friends…

It was fun sitting for you. I appreciate the slight slimming, but I think you did an awesome job.

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What am I forgetting?

These are roughly 1.5 hour studies from sittings at The Art Spirit Gallery in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. The flesh tones actually have more color than I am able to translate in these photos – but as advised, I was trying to be ‘subtle’ – and simplify.  Did I go to far?? What else am I forgetting my friends and ‘Feshin fellows’…??? We’ve learned so much, I stand there thinking “turns to non-color, now more intense color, edge continues – soften, hard line – the internal babble is endless. Gallery owner thought perhaps the shadow areas might be too dark?? I have three more days of these sketches – so speak up my friends.


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11 Responses to What am I forgetting?

Hey Kelly !! These are great. Way to go ! Have you sold many of these ?

You have accomplished a lot in one hour. Wow. I have been doing portraits almost everyday from life since 2 weeks ago. Have done 7 so far. I usually get my friends sit for 3 hours and continued painting from photos.
Sometimes it took 2 hours just to get the drawing down right ( placement, proportion and shading…etc * I know we were told not to draw at the Fechin workshop and focus on painting the volume 🙂
Kelly you got great tonal contrast and therefore good sense of volume. Imagine what you can do with adjustment of shapes, edges,temperature and values from photo reference.
Have fun at your last portrait day at the gallery.
Keep in touch !
Enjoy the humor and honesty in your article.
Harvey

Hi Harvey, thanks for the feedback. Yes, I sold all three. I have three more a day, for the next three days. And tomorrow, one of them is the press – hope I don’t choke. I think we may be able to get more accuracy from a photo reference, but I swear, for me, it sucks all the joy out of it. I like the intensity of ‘having to get it’ in the moment. If I’m using a photo it moves from a human interaction and exchange to map making and it looses its juice. So I will likely stick to the juicy distortion, and work hard toward more accurate drawing skills as time and practice allows me to progress. It also helps to keep the sessions short because many people are willing to sit for 1.5 hours and chat – if they like what you’re doing – they’ll buy it. Currently, I ask people to sit. I explain that if they like the results, they can purchase it for $150 – if not – I wipe it out and use the canvas on the next sitter, and thank them for adding to my practice. It’s a very nice arrangement, and one I hope to build on.
When do you go to Hong Kong. I will go there and paint with you someday!

Hi Kelly,

It is great to watch you work with such intensity and I think you are really going somewhere.
I don’t think the darks are too dark but I think they can be simpler. Sherrie once told me “you don’t really want anyone to look at or comment on the shadows, they should be an almost invisible foil for the lights. They should be flat, simple, with no variations of brushwork, color, or value. The only variation in the darks is the reflected light, which should be the same value as the darks but just warmer.”

I look forward to seeing the next batch. You are setting a standard for artistic work ethic that we all can envy. W

I don’t think your backgrounds are too dark. You have darker areas on the faces. I love the lady’s hair. I’d like to see more pure tones, but that is my preference. The faces are getting better. I see humor and eyes twinkling.

Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, – You put us all to shame! I agree with Will, your work ethic is awesome. I’ve been enjoying your journey and most importantly your improvement. As I look at at your past portrait then to the present it is without a doubt that you are coming into your own. The last three portraits seem to have more of “you” in them – as if you were enjoying yourself more??? Just my thoughts anyway. GO FOR IT! KEEP IT UP, and use more of the darker background like in the first portrait, with the glasses – I realy like that one! It helps to ground your use of color….. Till next time, Lisa

Hey, thanks all. I will try to exercise all of that good advice today.
As for the shadows – I bought really $$$ linen panels for these sittings and the canvas seems to show every stroke. I think I may need a softer brush to apply the shadows with. Any of you remember the color combo that D and S used for their shadow areas??

HI KELLY!
Remember the more comes forward and less goes back. Things like hair probably doesn’t want to have many value steps.
Also, the faces are basically “eggs”, maybe try to see where the strongest light is and other parts might appear as bright but there might be a subtle transitions of values from the closest plane(to the light source) to the areas that receive less light(and this is where colors become non-colors).
Lastly, the hues could be varied a tad more? Try to compare hues on the forehead with cheeks, nose or chin, whether they are leaned towards blue, red, green, yellow or gray?

Btw, just to update you with my new work.(I only did a couple paintings because my school academia gets in the way of painting :() Oh well, let me know what you think! 😀 This was a 4.5 hour long pose D:

http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/248237_351252064948_510064948_1406331_2700350_n.jpg

All the best,
k

I really love the one on the right. There are so many great things happening already 😀

Wow – Keita – she’s breathtaking. I will study her over and over again. NICE WORK my friend.

Shadow areas ”“ Ultramarine Blue and Burnt Umber – adjustments with Cad yellow med (I think)

I am brain-dead when it comes to painting faces so…..I think these are awesome! I agree with one person’s comment – I see eyes twinkling also! I can feel your energy from here – keep it up and have a great summer! Save travels for sure! Love, Ginny

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