A Different Kind of Color

“I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy…In order to give their children a right to study painting poetry and music.”  John Adams

John Adams was an honorable bright man.  I am pleased that he did study politics, and war, and that I am able to study painting and music.  Yet I would assert … if more of the human race studied art, there would be far less thought of war, and politics would not be a vulgar word. I’m grateful for the inclination to be filled with a different kind of color.

Desperate to cash in the campaign trail for my studio life, I joked with people that I was going back to sniff oil paint for a few days, and that I should not be disturbed.  I envisioned the scene like a screenplay, me, in my glory, dashing out one vibrant moving masterpiece after the other. A feverishly delightful display, the epitome of what John Adams had fought for.

But we don’t get our art that purely, unless we pay the price of solitude. And solitude doesn’t fit my budget right now. Two weeks ago our sweet 13 year old daughter was diagnosed with sever scoliosis and doctors tell us that she will eventually (sooner than later) need a spinal fusion; an awful process that will limit her mobility for life. Unending hours of research, feelings of despair, anger, guilt, determination, and ultimately…hope, were accompanied by the smell of oil paint, and a knowing that I could not let one obstruction be the cause of another.

Together we will fight. I will not give up all that gives me peace, as I need it more than ever.  I will not pack up all of my dreams. She needs to know that dreams are worth fighting for, and that obsticals will always arise. She will develop stamina and six-pack abs.  I will develop a stellar portfolio that speaks. We will be slaves to the everyday value of discipline.  The rewards will be evident, weather our pursuit is posture or paint.  We will caress the outcome, with faith and grace, and see where it takes us. Together we will study our little war, so that she may have the freedom to study whatever she wills.