I stayed quiet this morning. One of the artists suggested a critique. I knew I would be opting out. My Ipod and I were headed to the studio. Giovanni’s was closed, and the town seemed to still be sleeping.
I scraped my palette and loaded it with fresh piles of paint. I opened the stutter that spills light onto the mirror, shut off the bulb that hangs on a wire from the ceiling, and closed the door. I put on Beth Orten, and took a deep breath. I looked at myself. I noticed the way I stand, the way hold my head, the way light hits the wattle that seems to be developing beneath my chin. I made a very conscious and deliberate decision to delicately observe, and let it go. I did not need a masterpiece. I needed a release. I got it.
The painting may have some issues. My teachers tell me my hips and shoulders are not that big. The white in my eyes is possibly one value too light, and the color of my flesh, one value too dark. I generally have a happier appearance. None of it matters. It felt sooo good. I painted think. I painted freely. It’s the zone we don’t always hit, but we paint everyday hoping that we will.
After lunch I went back. I set up a still life, put on Sarah McLachlan and started at it. I tried hard to use as little white paint as possible and saturate colors. Instead of using white to lighten, I changed the color. I’ve been told this 100 times, but today I think I began to understand it. I also did very little preliminary drawing and blocked in with the paint. It moved along, and so did the hours. By the time my Ipod got through Sarah, I was reeling in it. I was excited with the direction and I wanted more. I wanted to see it done. I wanted to keep doing it. I put on the Rolling Stones and spent as much time dancing as I did painting. I waited for a break in the beat to make my next mark. My brushes beat through the air like I was Charlie Watts himself. I pulled a few whirling dervish dance moves and thanked God for the private audience. I’m not religious, but I got a really good dose of saturated spirituality today!
I capped my turpentine and headed to Tilio Market. We’re celebrating with an expensive bottle of wine ($9) and good smelly cheese. Thanks for all your comments. They keep me smiling.
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