We knew it was bound to happen. Four weeks (it has only been one) in an old convent with 12 women. Eventually background, personalities, and hormones will get in the way. It is suppose to be about the art. But after a short period of time, all the other crap comes up. I saw a cat fight today that made me think I was on the Jerry Springer show. Unfortunately, it was at our lunch table. Both women were artists, both women I really like. Both were ready to tear each other’s hair out.
Before I left my sister said to me “I hope it fills all of your expectations.” I thought, “I don’t really have any, except to paint everyday.” I have done that.
There are two kinds of artists out there. The ones that want to be artists, and the ones that ARE artists. Your work, your galleries, your fame and your connections have nothing to do with being an ARTIST, or not. The ONLY thing that dictates this state of being IS your state of being. If you call yourself an artist, and you are dedicated to the work, then you are an artist. It takes nothing more.
Today, I missed my kids. I woke up this morning without a schedule. I had breakfast, did my laundry, and looked forward to the day. Repeated attempts to skype my family, and the Jerry Spriger display at the lunch table left me feeling home sick. Yesterday I felt like three more weeks was not even close to enough. It would take much more time to create the works I needed! Today, I wondered if I could live another 24 hours without seeing my kids.
Finally we met on Skype. They in their pj’s, me entering happy hour. They sang and danced, literally “on the day that you were born the angels got together and decided to create a dream come truuuuuuoooouuuu… and they sprinkled gold dust in your hair and …la, la, la, la, la, your eyes of blue”….
I used to know every word. I used to sing it to them when they were babies. Now they know every word, and they sing it to me when I’m feeling like a baby.
I painted a self-portrait today. Scary. Tomorrow I will look at it again, likely scrap it, and start over. If only life were that easy to start over…
Actually, there is not that much that I would change.
Comments
9 Responses to My First Bad Day
Greetings Kelly. I am following your adventure daily. I am 63, and I admire your tenacity. I wonder if I would have been brave enough or more importantly given myself the opportunity to do what you are doing. I passed up opportunities for fear someone would think me “selfish”. Congratulations, and hang in there. It is too bad there are those who are not mature enough to let everyone be who they are without making a stink (Springer event).
May you come away with more growth than you could have imagined and no regrets for the journey. God bless your husband, he is truly a treasure.
Posted by Yvonne · via sullistudios.com · 139 months ago
Thank goodness for your last sentence…you scared your auntie. You have followers in Florida and we’re loving each and every writing. Your life is exciting because you make it so….Love you, Aunt Mary
Posted by Mary Ellen Jenkins · via sullistudios.com · 139 months ago
Hey Kelly, Sounds as if your first week had some ups and downs to it. Chalk that up to the fact that you are living in Italy and not just visiting it. On vacation you put life on hold and see all the sites while in your case life has followed you there. The drama, the homesickness but also the incredible experiences that you never get on a vacation. Well I hope you were able to have a great weekend and did some fun things. Treasure your weekends too just like you would at home. La dolce vita. Ciao.
Posted by john heine · via sullistudios.com · 139 months ago
hello Yvonne, Aunt Mary, and John. I’m happy you are all here! Thanks for the notes – they are a welcome sound from the world far away. Ciao
Posted by kelly · via sullistudios.com · 139 months ago
I liked what you said about artists. Some people are artists, others want to be. I was part of an outdoor art fair on Saturday and a little boy walked up to me. He had to be close to 11, since I didn’t see any parents nearby. He said to me “I am an artist, I have some questions” and he asked me about whether or not I do a sketch before I paint. I was so charmed by his confidence and poise, we had quite the conversation.
I like your self portrait; it seems to depict the anxiety you felt today. I hope you are doing better. You ARE away from home for a long time, but it’s worth it!
Posted by mimi torchia boothby watercolors · via sullistudios.com · 139 months ago
“on the day that you were born the angels got together and….” wow, that got me! You have great kids and they have a great mom – missing them makes all the sense in the world. I got a little a little teary eyed.
Love your comments on artists. My friend, Jeff, says that when he starts a painting it is really already done and he is just there to put it down! Says he doesn’t think when he paints – just moves to the “music” if you know what I mean. Have fun!
Posted by Ginny · via sullistudios.com · 139 months ago
yes, I know what you mean.
Posted by kelly · via sullistudios.com · 139 months ago
Kelly,
I read your blog today. This entry made actually brought tears to my eyes (and rolling down my cheek). I knew you could paint….I had no idea you were a writer too. Your Blog is beautiful and so is your work…. I have always had a deep admiration for strong, creative women….such as yourself. Keep up the good work…..you are an inspiration….
Posted by melissa · via sullistudios.com · 138 months ago
Thanks Melissa, sorry to make you cry! Things are definitely better, and I can’t believe I only have one week left to paint here. Cheers. Kelly
Posted by kelly · via sullistudios.com · 138 months ago
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