It was not easy to leave. Only the draw of my family got me on the plane. I know I will go back. This time I needed to go alone. Next time, I hope my family will join me.
The day before we left I took a long last walk on the dirt roads that run through the countryside. I was with a friend, but we didn’t talk much. We were saying goodbye. I took notice of the extreme sense of peace –not around me but in me; a sense not hard to find when you’re practicing your passion, and the only decisions you have to make involve color and value. I was inspired and alive in a ‘knowing’ kind of way. I had been for 30 days, and the tonic was lovely. In my mind I imagined how I would carry this feeling back home with me, into the studio, into the family, the politics. I focused on it, to know it, to be able to call it up should I forget and let it slip away.
Re-entry came quickly. Tom is living in Boise for the rest of his campaign, so I jumped right back into the juggle. Sleep, eat, school, laundry, eat, pick-up from school, shop, cook, eat, homework, sleep, …all over again. Art didn’t make it into the schedule, but it will. I did have my cake, and I ate it all. I want more cake, and that’s OK.
For now, I will juggle and do my best to conjure up that ‘knowing’ in the real world. I’ll continue to make adjustments so that it becomes my real world. Leaving Italy was not the end. It was an appetizer.