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Three bad pieces, and clean socks

I see so many changes in my world.  Not just the way my pants fit, or the level of sag in my cheekbones, but the structure of my life.  Our kids are getting older. My husband is fully engaged in a political campaign.  The things that used to plant me no longer apply.  I am so blessed, and I am so restless.

I painted three pieces today.  First was Mira, a young painter from Lebanon.  She sat still, very still, on the floor, looking up at the wall.  She had a peaceful but knowing look about her. Her large dark eyes looked up – and in a way asked the world (or the wall) “what are you looking at?” I tried to capture her.  I didn’t.

Carole was next; an elegant woman from South Africa that is now a permanent resident of this village. She was gracious, well dressed, and lovely.  Halfway through the sitting, she said “I want to be beautiful.” She is beautiful – 60-year-old beautiful women. But I couldn’t get close.

Sandro came.  He walked in. I sat him down, stood him up, and looked at him sideways, again at a different angle.  Yes, this will work.  He sat, crossed his arms as instructed, and looked at me.  I pointed to my eyes, then to his, then out the window.  He turned his head.  Then he came back.. I pointed again, and he followed.  I looked at him for a long time. I let my eyes move around him, and I began to work.  The environment was passive.  There was still the pressure of the ticking clock, but the intensity was gone.

As uncomfortable as his stare made me, I wanted to switch course and get it back.  Perhaps there is something that happens for the sitter as well? Perhaps they come to watch me, paint them.  I removed that equation today.  Mira and Carole looked at the wall, and Sandro just stared out the window. There was no exchange.

I have no paintings to show you today.  I tried to photograph them for you, but not one of them turned out. They were all blurry.  The gods may be telling me to keep these failures to myself.  Tomorrow I may just stick to landscapes, as they have no eyes and no heartbeat.

I did, on the other hand, get my laundry done, and walk the Umbrian countryside alone for over an hour today.   These things alone help quell my anxiety.  Though to use such a word while spending a month in Italy at “art camp” seems surreally absurd.  10 minutes spent on the internet, looking at the real tragedies coughed up by life, should cure any perception of toil inflated by the privileged person – and I am a privileged person.


Comments

7 Responses to Three bad pieces, and clean socks

Thoroughly enjoyable morning reading your posts.
Love you Kelly

Hi, Thanks Reed! I hope the campaign is going well. I’m sure I’m having more fun than you guys are. Tell that handsome brother of yours hello. Ciao.

The 3rd week is where you will notice a big change in your work. Painting every day and suddenly it all comes together.Thank you for writing this blog and your response to the landscape; it bring back so many wonderful memories and I can relive that spaecial time again.Life is busy and one can get lost just doing for others. Now is the time to rediscover yourself and who you are, ones strength and weakness’. Buona fortuna.

And while you’re there, don’t forget that you are in Italy, and artists don’t have to work work work all the time. Smell the roses! and don’t worry, it will come.

Kelly,
I got a little behind in reading your Blog but caught up tonight and am smiling – in addition to paintings there is a book here…you are right there with Eat, Pray, Love.
Thinking about you,
Nancy

Hello all, thanks for the notes. Yesterday was rough. I was missing my family so much it was hard to hold it together – and the painting showed it – so I stopped as mimi would say “to smell the roses.” Better today. Nancy, I would love to pick up where we left off when I get back. Katherine, I’m looking forward to the big shift. It must be close because the tension is almost unbearable. Ciao

Just caught up reading your blog. When you describe your feelings and the situations you find yourself in, I feel like I am there! Continue to enjoy every emotional and artistic moment that is being offered to you!

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